i'm looking for something, but the act of looking pushes it further away. and i just keep looking and looking.

i've been drained of all the right words to say and the right way to place my hands behind your head while you sleep, never around your neck, especially not when i'm finding it so hard to breathe. i need air, revive me. i'm sick of saying nothing matters, i'm sick of saying i don't care, every extra second of tension breaks my heart into a million little pieces. i've never had patience for puzzles, how do you expect me to stitch this back together? i need your help, i need it badly.

dreamt of a vacant pier

move all your maps to here

if i could run my fingers through your hair

if i could run along the shore and air

i would

keep all my mornings clear

move all your bees to here

if i could run my fingers through your hair

if i could run along the shore and air

i would

move

come back, it's quiet here

give me all of your insecurities and your flaws and we can cut your ropes and ties and i'll stitch you back up until you're brand new, it won't take long because you're as close to perfect as they come, my one and only, i'll sew your skin to mine so we can never let go, i hope that's okay, because my biggest fear is losing you and can't we just get married already? i'm tired of making an ebb and flow of everything regarding us and sometimes it's as simple as asking why i love you and how easy it is to give myself the answer.

no

yes

i get it now

ephemeral

i care far too much about things that don't concern me

we were walking, holding hands

with our bare feet in the sand

and the seagulls overhead

when i broke the spell and said

"i could never divorce you

without a good reason

and though i may never have to

it's good to have options"

but for now, i need you

but for now, i need you

but for now, i need you

but it was only in my head

because no one ever says

what they really mean to say

when there's so much at stake

so i told her i loved her

and she told me she loved me

and i mostly believed her

and she mostly believed me