my teeth are gritted and my hands are raw but you're probably used to me like that, romanticizing of distant places hoping i can pull both of us into them instead of sitting and waiting for something bigger and better in this reality. my jaw is getting sore. i'm running out of skin to peel back from my fingertips. everything is tender and open and cold and it all hurts so much. i want to throw my cold into your heat and watch the fire rise and engulf us whole because i'm getting tired of waiting for something bigger and better and i'm starting to believe this is it. prove to me it isn't.