i've become selective of

what i'd like to build my life around

what i'd like to keep in and

what i'd like to throw out

no matter how much i try to cut out though

i'm still scared

i'm scared of souls getting old and worn

i'm scared that i've been wrung out

too many times

i'm trying not to let my fears loom over me

like ghosts and thick fog

i've busied myself lately with remembering

the taste of sweat and the sound of screen doors

and everything else comforting from the summer

that's slipped through my fingers

and how i want it back

i can't function with intangible things

slipping through my fingers - i need yours

with the gold ring on your right hand

laced through mine, holding on tight

i can't let them through

this is going to be a difficult year

but i'm not letting your fingers slip away

like the summer slipped away

quiet and calm

it's just that

it's easier to recognize what's missing than

to realize what's been here all along

i'm trying to work on the latter because

our fingers will still be laced together tomorrow

and i will fall asleep beside you and

hold every second of it in my grasp

i know i'm not that far away but it feels

like i'm on the other side of the world

sometimes

and i miss you so much

always