one of us was good at listening to sad songs when it was still daylight and the other one was good at letting the lyrics anchor themselves bone deep. i am as heavy as the sea, and just as blue. guess who was who. i understand now why hurricanes rise from oceans, understand how heavy the atlantic must feel with its anchors, and sunken ships, and drowned bodies. imagine the weight. i would grow myself from a storm too, kiss it hard on the mouth and call it irene, set it free with a promise of destruction had i spent seasons of watching some couples fall in love, felt others stumble drunkenly out of it and into the sea. that's the problem, everything makes me sad now: couples in love, couples out of it, young people who never leave, young people who do, broken boys, unbroken boys - everything is tragic because i am. it's nothing. it's the kind of tragedy you find in the eyes of teenagersafter a bloody summer. i'm tragic, it's pitiful, tragic and bitter. but bitter especially - mostly i'm bitter. bitter because i'm the one that's still here, because i was the ocean, am still the ocean, will always be the ocean, because i grew heavier in the songs while you opened your mouth to sing them and the wind hit the inside of your cheeks hard enough to make them into sails and whisper you away.