i watched you in the dark as salty tears stained your cheeks and my heart broke a thousand times over. words are not enough sometimes but my foolish mouth gets the best of me. sometimes all we need is human contact to make the pain subside for at least a moment or two. although my inhibitions took over, my intentions were in the right place. i often wonder why bad things happen to good people. i'm peeling pigments of skin in hopes to find the answer running through veins but i'm just feeling raw. i'm looking under woobly feet and behind shaking hands but coming up empty. maybe it's the howling wind and the hooded faces walking five paces faster than we'd prefer. maybe it's these cold months tragically dragging on leaving our hearts vacant and our skin tender. but i don't know. i don't know.

if discovering yourself is what this place is all about, why do i feel like i'm losing who i am?