i was sitting in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee, and it all came flashing back. everything i remembered about the place, about you, about that phone call...

i miss your backyard, walking past the trees, looking up and feeling dizzy because they seemed to travel right into the sky. i miss playing mortal kombat on that squeaky old mattress in the guest room, always having to wipe the dust off the tv because we were the only people that used it. i miss looking at the progression of the puzzle you'd have sitting out on that folding card table, always moving along slowly but surely, never wanting any help. i miss that massive spoon collection, seeing all those school portraits and birthday cards sitting on your desk, that jar of mints that always sat by the front door, how you always watched baseball.

i always watch where i step now, a subconscious behaviour after visiting you so many times, haivng to step over your oxygen cord. i always get a little nervous when my mother calls me late at night, because i remember when i got that call about you. these little things upset me, but i know you've always been a bit of an optimist so i try and do the same.

i did something for you today, and it's going to be with me forever. i hope you're proud of me. i love you.