my stomach is turning

and my head is heavy

and my lungs yearn to be filled with the sweet smell of summer air

and the word 'failure' is lingering on the edge of my lips

but i'm pushing it back into my mouth

and swallowing it whole

so i can trudge through these next three days

and then slip off my dirty shoes

and leave them behind in this god awful city

that sucks the soul right out of my body

and leaves me feeling careless and tired and empty

i'm moving forward, i'm moving so fucking far forward

never forgetting the muddy tracks i leave behind

but knowing i'm better than that

i'm so much better than that