there's that empty feeling in my stomach again

something is missing

it's not something i can ask for

it's not something i can hope will be handed to me

but i wish

i wish that i could

i wish i could take what i wanted from the air around me, from the air i breathe in

that way i wouldn't have to dig so far

dig my gritty nails into my empty stomach

dig my gritty nails through my wandering mind

i could just breathe in that little fraction of life that i need to get me going again

i'm off track

i'm out of mind

i'm not in the right state, the right place, where i want to be

where i want to be

it's a simple statement but it means so fucking much

where do i want to be?

i wish i knew

i wish i knew now

i have patience, i really do

but there is still

something

missing

i just want to be comforted

comforted in the folds of skin and flesh

words can only do so much

and right now they're not nearly enough

i'm getting back into that sort of writing that doesn't seem coherent or consistent and is nothing but scattered and messy and scary and i don't really like it.